Alistair's Rose
by Asmodeous
Summary: Bethany has asked Alistair why he's in such a bad mood all the time. So he tells her a tragic tale.


Alistair smiled wide. Here he was, in camp with the Warden he had... fallen in love with, just a day's travel from Denerim, and the Landsmeet. Through everything they had done, from Ostagar to the accursed Fade, she had been there for him, and he for her. Maybe it was everything they had been through that had helped his feelings for her blossom into something he could only dream she'd return. He always gritted his teeth through the ways Zevran looked at her, and he even saw Leilana give a few wayward glances to the Warden that he loved. Alistair stared into the slowburning fire for a few seconds then sat straight. "Ka...Kallian." The name stumbled out of his mouth messily, making his cheeks burn. Across the fire, a small group of the companions smiled and began to gossip amongst each other. The young city elf turned towards Alistair, her green eyes burrowing into his soul and he nearly lost his mind staring back at her. "C-Can we talk? In private?" He gulped. This was the moment of truth, this is when he talked to her about his feelings.

"You're...what?" Alistair's smile deflated when she said that, and he knew what this was leading to. Kallian looked up at him, searching his eyes. "Alistair...I...give me time to think about this. It's...I mean...tomorrow is the Landsmeet! And you throw this on me now..." The ex-templar looked away, nodding. "Of course, I'm sorry. I just... needed to get it off my chest." Kallian smiled, patting his shoulder. "I didn't give you a yes or a no, you know. Just... let me think. Goodnight Alistair." She walked away, to her tent, saying goodnights to everyone, leaving Alistair to try to remain hopeful. He knew that after the Landsmeet, things would change. For better or worse... he was afraid to find out.

The Landsmeet went strangely. First, Kallian defeated Loghain in battle, and much to Anora's dismay, ended his life. Anora was made queen until Alistair felt ready, thanks to Kallian taking in what Alistair felt about the situation. Then...the darkspawn attacked, and Riordan pulled Alistair and Kallian aside and gave them the worst news. One of them would have to die for the Archdemon to be defeated. Riordan volunteered but as they were leaving Alistair grabbed Kallian's arm and pulled her close, "If...he dies. Promise me you won't attack it. Let me do this." Kallian teared up but nodded her acceptance.

As they made their way to Fort Drakon, Alistair and Kallian saw a sight that made their hearts sink. Riordan had failed, and they both knew what that meant. One of them would have to die. Alistair could just hope she fulfilled her promise of letting him be the one to sacrifice himself. He looked over to the rest of the party, and saw reactions he would expect. Zevran kept a smirk on his face, but it was clear he was shaken by what was happening, and Oghren simply poured it all into his temper, keeping himself battle-ready.

They were at the door to the roof of Fort Drakon when something unexpected happened. Kallian walked to the door then suddenly turned on her heel, running to Alistair and planting a kiss on his lips. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I thought about it you know. That's why this is so hard..." Alistair tried to hold back a smile, but felt the edges of his lips curve upwards slightly. He kissed the young elf on the forehead and felt tears go down his own face as well. "Let's finish this. Nobody else can."

The battle against the Archdemon went as planned. They stuck near the ballista and used them to batter the Archdemon into submission. Even the sprinkling of rain didn't impede as they fought against the enemy. At last the Archdemon lay on the ground, struggling to get up. Alistair took a deep breath and walked up, turning his blade away then raising it. He didn't even hear her coming, and he barely felt her push until he was on the ground. "I'm sorry! But you're needed, I'm not!" He couldn't react fast enough as she plunged her blade into the Archdemon's skull, and he felt the strength ebb out of him as he realized what happened.

Alistair got up quickly after the Archdemon stopped struggling, running to Kallian's body. "No no no no no, you can't do this. You can't be dead. Please, Kallian. I can't do this without you. I need you..." He kneeled beside her body, hugging it tightly as if he expected it to wake up. He ignored Zevran's hand on his shoulder as he stared at his dead love. "Alistair, we need to go. We can return for her body." Alistair shook his head. "You go. I'm staying here." "But Ali-" "GO AWAY NOW. BEFORE I MAKE YOU." Alistair shook from anger as he yelled at the Crow, and he heard a sigh as Zevran turned away, leaving him to hug and kiss the body as the rain began to pour. "I'm so sorry Kallian. You shouldn't have... I need you here. I can't do this...not without you." He began to sob loudly, pressing her as tightly as he could.

"Kallian had a small burial. Anora didn't even let us bury her before we left Denerim, but the Dalish let her be buried in their gravesite. Harrowmont actually came, and so did Eamon and Irving. But that was it. Just those three and everyone who accompanied her on the adventure. Shale refused to talk to anyone, and anyone who was there can swear that Sten looked away to wipe a tear. Even Morrigan had this look of sadness... like, Kallian's death just made the world... grey. And she's right." Alistair leaned back, taking a large gulp from his cup as the young woman across from him thought about the tale he just told her. "Then why are you how you are?" Alistair shot up, throwing his cup into the wall, and his chair a good few feet away. "YOU DON'T GET IT, BETHANY. BECAUSE NOBODY GAVE A DAMN. Everyone that she saved. /Everyone/. Only twelve people mourned her, and that includes me. A beautiful flower let itself die, and nobody gave a damn."


End file.
